Blog Post from "The End" Rule from the Center

I grew up in a family of obsessive fanatics. It’s no wonder that today I needed an inordinate amount of obsessive-compulsive anti-depressant drugs, just to allow me not to veer slightly to the right.

I have an inordinate tendency to obsess about my health, my life, and anything else I can attach myself to. If I’m traveling, I obsess about that. If I’m not traveling, I can find a way to obsess about that as well. But nothing captures my fancy like being sick. I can get right down there with the best of them. Soaking any ailment for all it’s worth, and by all means, annoying all around me with my continual need for attention. After 40 years of intensive psychotherapy, I understand my motivations and neuroses, but like all good neurotics, my ailments, no matter how painful and uncomfortable, are a difficult act to drop.

But enough about me. I was talking about my parents. As I mentioned in earlier blogs, I grew up in a grand house, where everything had its place. There was the upstairs maid, the downstairs maid, the chauffeur, the butler, the laundress, and handyman, all working tirelessly to keep everything under control. The carpet’s nap was always vacuumed to look like Yankee Stadium. The antiques sniffed of polish, the woodwork glistened, the upholstery puffed to perfection, and I was not meant to disturb or touch anything.

Now, despite this claustrophobic, critical environment, I learned to somehow love it. I have become my own worst enemy. I have taken up and joined the club that I would never want to be a member of. I love order. Cleanliness is next to godliness, and despite everything, I must admit- my parents were right. All things do have their right place.

If you look at my photographs, this sense of compulsion, which has turned into a sense of composition, was nurtured and driven into me from a young boy. Despite throwing it up and out, I have learned to use it in my favor. I have learned to place things in their right place, to find order in chaos, to distill an essence from a catastrophe, and to learn my own rhythm. It all looks so easy, but believe me, it took many years of torture and anguish to learn to rule from the center.

A Lake Less than Placid Reed Kelly, model and acrobat, takes us back to Lake Placid in 2008 during the biggest snowstorm in a century.

You knew it was going to be snowy because we were going up to Lake Placid. But as we were getting there, it just started snowing and then didn’t stop. We shot during the largest ice storm that they had in 100 years. The power was out at the inn we were staying in. The power was out everywhere. The trees were bent over with ice. It looked like we were on another planet.

We walked out in the morning and it was like everything was covered in glass.

It was stunning. It also made everything really slippery.

I remember when we were doing this shot on the highway. Rodney was like, what if you’re on your skis and you’re standing there? We’re like, okay, cool. But it’s a really winding road. And it was busy!

We’d run out. Put the skis down. Get the shot. Run. Get out of the way of the cars and pick up the skis. It was like playing street hockey where you’re like, game over.

So while we were doing this shoot, it was so cold that eventually Renate, Rodney’s stylist, had to duct tape hand warmers to my body.

It was mayhem. We always did such crazy things.

So much of our photo shoots together would be like, let’s try a thing. Let’s try that. With Rodney, I don’t think it was ever just I’m going to shoot this suit. Everything that I was a part of was always more than just about a suit.

And I think that’s what’s different with Rodney—he was always creating art. He always had incredible visions of what he imagined and then he would put you in that world.